she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you will always have a special place in my vag
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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