I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
