i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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