Christians are straight up FREAKS
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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