OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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