i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
