I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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