he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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