FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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