margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
