You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
