My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize