Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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