guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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