yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
