Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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