I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms