I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
