he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
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