I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
