I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
