i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Verdict: uncircumcised.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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