forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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