READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i dont even know how to be here
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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