Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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