fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..