Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
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It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George