I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest