Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
