do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
