I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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