dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
