The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
