garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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