we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
