oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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