Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
