Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
