So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
