Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize