I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
