You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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