I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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