what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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