Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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