Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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