idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
