3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
