oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
