i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
