yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
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Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?