found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
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tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
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You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.