grandma shit on top of the toilet
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real