Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
