The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
