He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
