That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize