Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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