They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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